Male Fantasies (by Nhim)
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In a war, you will:
See, that’s why war happens, folks!!!
Sometimes your final stand happens when you’re taking a leak and you slowly bleed from the meat chunks that used to be your body in the new trench the artillery shell dug but yes
I think now you just die to a kamikaze drone. You don’t even ever get to see any enemy combatant on the field and you die instantly. Marvelous.
You die and Russians/Ukrainians post the footage of your death on telegram to put in a compilation
I hate when this happens. Three fucking times this week.
Climate change is ruining your snow for #3 though.
A big enough war makes its own winter 🍄
"Don’t tell mum I’m in Chechnya” intensifies
I see a disturbing lack of “building stuff”
Building stuff comes after the final stand against all odds.
Digging the hole might count, you’re building a cave
Yea, just dig sideways!
If anyone reading is actually fantasizing about this, I would suggest merely trying to go a week on half the usual amount of food and sleep, and no lotion or lip balm. See how tough you feel then.
No electricity or running water gets old fast.
And if you survive some time, no dentist.
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If you own a homestead that could work until your solar needs maintenance that requires the old system.
Me, skipping meals (forgot to eat), already sleeping half the amount you’re supposed to (insomnia), not using lotion or lip balm (they’re in the bathroom somewhere):
I’m about to dominate the end of the world.
Me, with already eating not enough + a sleep “schedule” all over the place: this new world might be big enough for both of us.
Next time you need antibiotics, don’t take them.
Digging a hole with my 10-yo son was the only work he didn’t bitch about last summer.
Used to hate digging, but now I’m in NW Florida where there’s 2” of topsoil, sandy clay all the way to China. Only thing stopping a man is how fast he can sling it out of the hole.
The children yearn for the mines
Ugh last time i helped my father dig a hole it was basically rocks held together with clay. Shovels are a joke, the only thing that works is a stick.
Man I get like 2 feet tops of clay. Then it’s limestone that lacks any mineral value for miles
No notes. 💯
You forgot having an entire room dedicated to model trains
Replace trains with Gundams and would definitely be one of mine.
Replace Gundam with Warhammer/similar games minis and you have mine.
Replace warhammer with something you’ve built or fixed yourself and you’ve covered all your bases. This is inclusive of model trains, gundams, cabinetry, doomsday devices, stained glass windows, chairs, a car, etc
Same. Although do they make 1/100 scale model trains? That could be a cool crossover.
…Keep looking. I don’t see “analyze the phase delay of all my 16 pole-mixing LTI filter variations and use regression fitting to compute frequency compensation coefficients for accurate pitch waveguide audio synthesis” on the list yet.
I don’t know. Sounds like a hole to me.
What about boobs? Have they become unfashionable nowadays?
Boobs are temporary but Doom is eternal.
Also what would keep you entertained longer: looking on the same pair of boobs or digging a nice big hole?
Digging holes is definitely on the list.
I see no mention of stick. Incomplete
One of the reasons dude love wizards is that they all carry really really cool sticks.
It’s also why women tend to like Harry Potter more than men. No one has really cool sticks. They just have tiny little wands.
those wands are of an adequate size, i promise. actually nobody really needs a wand that’s too long, that would be unreasonable and maybe even painful.
Exactly. it’s mostly men that are focused on really big sticks.
I understand all except bleeding to death in a snow covered field.
Action movie trope, first that comes to mind is Bladerunner 2049.
Fargo, The Grey, The Revenant, The Hateful Eight, Yellowjackets, The Thing, 30 Days of Night, The Shining, Die Hard 2
The illustration in the OP is literally traced from a still of BR2049.
THERE. ARE. 4. TYPES.
Hey, digging a hole goes beyond masculinity! It’s one of the few things that hasn’t changed with my transition, if there’s a hole to be dug, throw me a shovel.
Actually, the more I think on this as someone who wants bottom surgery, I think this compulsion may go even deeper…
I was about to comment with a bunch of other fantasies but then I remembered I’m not a man
Am I weird if mine are different?
+1
Idk who would go out bleeding in snow but I definitely would go dig holes! 😁
Wait, there’s a good ol’ fashioned hole diggin’?
Pretty sure that middle one isn’t gendered.
Fight in a desperate stand aganst all odds to find a hole who bleed and digging in it.
Dig a hole in yourself in the middle of a snowy field in a desperate last stand against living.
I hadn’t the slightest inclination to dig until I needed to plant a tree & bought my first shovel: unexpectedly satisfying.
Dogs make more sense now.
Guess I am not a male. None of these sound like a good time. Unless the hole being dug is my butthole.
Cis male FWIW (think of myself as an ally to all), nothing here appeals in any way, unless I’m digging a hobbit hole, and I’d rather a treehouse, and even more a solar boat…
Forgot sailing across the ocean on old wooden ship
Oh hell no. I toured an authentic recreation of La Niña. It’s so small as to be terrifying. People had to sleep on the deck so the more valuable animals got the hold. Don’t have the cojones to get out of site of land on that toy boat.
NOTE: Doesn’t look as small in those pics as it feels IRL.
There’s a replica of a ship called Duyfken that the Dutch used to sail from Dutchland to Western Australia (a very long way, journey takes like a year) and it’s tiny. I’d throw myself overboard within a week.
mine is just sitting in a chair with a laptop, coffee, and vape. thats my fanta…oh wait i do that every day.
I just had the stupidest showerthought, fanta the soda was invented by cutting the word fantasy? Or maybe fantastic? I’m probably stupid, I never figured, just thought fanta was like a made up name. Thanks random internet person.
Only 3 types? Nahh
It’s not inaccurate…